This post addresses what I could/should have said when I verbally harassed over the course of several hours by a drag queen while on Fire Island. Her comments began innocuously enough, accusing me of "not being gay" then devolved into "I'm getting a straight vibe off of you" to her going out of her way to tell other random people that "he says he's gay but he's not". Needless to say, I was less than amused, and at one point seriously pissed the fuck off. I held back because I generally shy away from confrontation when drunk, as that usually precludes a productive conversation. Anyways, here goes...
Dear Drag Queen,
First off, you're shoes are fucking ugly. Did they come with the dress you picked up at TJ Maxx? Could have fooled me. Also, I was not previously aware that they manufacture lace up pumps in a size 13. Oh, and you have bad, bad blow job hair.
But enough with the childish behavior (although after you made fun of what I was wearing I feel justified in making fun of your appearance, but I won't go there, well except for when I just did). I have a question for you, Oh Holy Overload of all that is Gay; do you see this flag below?
That's a gay pride flag, a symbol I would have to assume that you have seen before at least once if not more. Now, I know I'm not a "stereotypical" homosexual man, and I wouldn't presume to know which exact "color" I am...but there are a lot of colors on that flag, and I'm certain one of them represents me. See, the gay community is like, diverse and shit. That might come as a shock to you, or perhaps you just needed a fucking clue. Consider this it.
You know, usually when people criticize me, it's "helpful" criticism, which I consider a gift of sorts. I don't pretend to know all the answers and I take well meaning comments to heart. You, however, seem content to be a spiteful human being with little or no redeeming qualities, one whom "gets off" on putting other people down. Thus, you have no purpose on this earth, let alone in the greater gay community.
Furthermore, do you have any idea how much effort it has taken me to come to this point in life? I know some people come out fairly easily, that was not the case with me. It took a LOT of fucking pain, tears and blowjobs to get where I am today, so please forgive me for being offended at your backhanded remarks. You fucking bitch.
PS - You SUCK at life.
I hope that didn't come off as too bitter, but the bullshit noise that person was making really bothered me, which seemed to be the intent. Before I came out I thought the gay community was all about inclusiveness, and I still believe/hope it is. But when I encounter someone who should be open-minded, but acts in a fashion to suggest anything but, I feel the need to call that person on their shit.