Tuesday, July 1, 2008

MY NEW ARCH ENEMY: FLIP FLOPS

There many things that really get under my skin, like people that put stuffed animals in their car's rear window, cinnamon, Log Cabin Republicans and red light cameras. But as of this writing, far and away, my biggest pet peeve are flips flops.

Now, I must admit that I own a pair of flip flops. These are used when I take the garbage out, go out onto my porch to smoke or walk to the corner store. OK - maybe, I'll wear them to Target, but that's it. Under NO circumstances WHATSOEVER do I wear them to a social function, and especially NOT to fucking work.

My office's liberal dress policy has always been once of few perks I enjoy - I can wake up all hungover, pull on last nights wrinkled jeans, throw on a pair of sneaks and off I go. Though I may look less than professional, I hardly think my appearance annoys the living shit out anyone around me.

I'll get to the point, our office manager/receptionist has started wearing flip flops to work. Keep in mind, this is one of few co-workers I can tolerate - but Holy Christ on a Gyros Spit, YOU'RE FLIP FLOPS ARE SO FUCKING LOUD THEY'RE DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY. FUCK!

Today, the incessant slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap sound her cheap ass flip flops make almost brought me to tears. It doesn't help that her desk is near mine, or that she seems to be constantly in motion. Why on earth is she walking around so goddamn much? Does she buy her foot apparel at the grocery store? UGH!

To make matters worse, this seems to be a trend that all the other women in the office are adopting. Not all are as worse as the office manager/receptionist flip flop terrorist (some seem to have purchased somewhat "classy" flip flops that are not made out of cheap plastic or rubber) but still, at times it sounds like a forest of crickets making the same slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap-slap sound.

Whew, OK, I needed to get that off my chest.

6 comments:

Frontier Psychiatrist said...

Never get trapped going down stairs with this person. It will kill you.

Cockbag LLC said...

I love flip flops but can't wear them to work. At least they are not crocs. You have no idea how much I hate those things.

Anonymous said...

What a prissy little bitch you are!

JUSTIN said...

"What a prissy little bitch you are!"

Indeed, I can be when audibly subjected to repetitive sounds that disagree with my ears.

K said...

Flip Flops are the devil's creation

I cannot fathom why people wear them in the city. I was sitting next to this super clean cut guy on the N train the other day and he placed his foot on the top of his knee and started going 'slap slap slap' with his fucking sandal...

KILL YOURSELF!

P.S. the bottom of his feet were so fucking dirty. This is why you SHOULD NOT wear sandals in the city....it is sooooo dirty!

Ugh

james said...

check this out:
http://redeye.chicagotribune.com/red-070908-flipflop-main,0,4453955.story

at least now when you hear the annoying noise, you can be comforted in the thought that these idiots are doing longterm harm to their feet!