Tuesday, April 8, 2008


Now, I know what you're thinking, "Justin, how did you acquire such a fine automobile?" The answer was this lavish Chrysler Pacifica. Yup, I decided that instead of a sleek, low slung sports car, I'd replace it with a Mini-van disguised not so convincingly as a SUV thats really a glorified station wagon.

And in cased it's not painfully evident, it's a piece of shit.

OK - I didn't actually buy it, this my rental for the next few weeks while my Baby is at the body shop. It seems that the Motherfucker that hit my car caused enough damage the body shop estimates it will about 2 weeks before they fix it up.

I naively thought that the damage was mostly cosmetic, but I was wrong. When I drove in to the body shop for an estimate, one of the guys working there pointed out that the rear right wheel that was on an angle. Which means suspension damage. Ugh.

Though annoyed and exhausted, I'm trying to remain in good spirits. After all, no one got hurt (that is until I find the person responsible and rearrange his facial features with a Louisville Slugger). And thus far everything has been a breeze.

The insurance company has been awesome, the body shop guys were empathic and the renting of that God-Awful car/truck thing was painless (with the exception of having to pay $16 a day for the insurance - that's kind of a bitch). Also, my friend lent me his sweet Mini Cooper! I love that car! Thank you friend!

The only static I got was when I filed a police report yesterday. Man, that cop was not so friendly. Because my situation required him to fill out a ton of paperwork, he made no effort whatsoever to mask his complete resentment of my very being. Basically, he was a dick.

But I'm moving on and putting that ugliness behind me. And in the meantime, that Chrysler is going to be driven like the fat bitch she is (apologies to any readers that drive a Pacifica). I want my car back!


The [Cherry] Ride said...

That is indeed a Cherry Ride.

And believe me, I know such things.

jeremy said...

You know what I first thought of? Pacific = Horizon. I leave you with the thoughts of Lewis Black:

"While I was in Miami, they stole my rental car, because apparently, they didn't have enough time to load up a gun and shoot me. On the street, there was a Lexus, a BMW, and in the middle was my car; the rental car: the Plymouth Horizon. Here's a math problem for you, don't ponder it too long or your head'll explode, but how many drugs would you have to consume, in what period of time, to be on the street and go... 'Well, I gotta have the Horizon! Are you kidding me? I've never driven a car that's aqua!' So I called the police, I told them, 'They've stolen my rental car, a Plymouth Horizon.' And the officer said, 'They must have taken it for a joyride.' I said, 'Hey. I don't think you're listening, asshole. The car is a Plymouth... HORIZON! It is not a joy - to ride!'"

Only Mark said...

wow...that's a far cry from an RSX-S type! Although, if you already have your own insurance, you generally don't need to buy the rental car company's extra insurance, as yours should surely cover it. Might look into it and save your $16/day.

And as far as offending any readers who own Pacificas...don't worry, I don't think too many of your readers are suburban soccer moms.

PS - Let me know how that Mini Cooper is, is it a Cooper S? I've recently decided I'm going to have to get one of those as a toy eventually. They just look SOO fun to drive!!

The New Me said...

Dear God! What is THAT?

"william" said...

TGIF eye candy... GO TEXAS!