Last Saturday night I had some time to kill before I met up with some friends. The Cubs were on but since they weren't playing on WGN, and since I no longer have real cable I had but one choice if I wanted to watch the game, which was to go to a bar. My choice was the good ol' gay sports bar.
The place was packed but I found one empty bar stool at the end of the bar and settled in. From my vantage point I had to crane my neck to see the TV, but I dealt with it. Unfortunately my location afforded me an unimpeded perspective on a former co-worker who was sitting alongside the other end of the bar.
A few months back I mentioned how I had seen this former co-worker while on a date at the same place, and I have seen him there a few other times as well, but we never acknowledged one another's presence (and of course I can't find that post where I mentioned him). Not too surprising as we were never work buddy's or anything. However, at the time it was obvious that he was gay but I was still in the closet.
While the other times we found ourselves in the same bar we generally ignored one another, but last Saturday night he was practically boring holes into the side of my head, and it was difficult not to look back at him. My theory is that before he might have thought it was me, but on this night I was wearing my glasses, which I always wore to work.
Needless to say it was a distraction from enjoying the game (as was the fact that the Cubs sucked that game), even more so because he seemed to look at me, look away and make comments to his friend/boyfriend sitting next to him. It didn't make me self conscious, but it was annoying.
Finally I decided to do something about the situation. During the commercial break, I got up and walked right over to him and said:
Me: "Hey man, you look familiar, didn't we used to work at the same place?"
Former Co-Worker: "Um, yeah, maybe, you do look familiar"
Me: "We both worked at 'insert former place of employment here' on the 'XXXX' team"
Former Co-Worker: "Oh, yeah, right..."
Me: "So hows it going, did you find a better job?"
Former Co-Worker: "Um, yeah, I like my current job much better, how about you?"
Me: (in a joking tone) "Fuck that place, I hope it burns to the ground, haha"
Former Co-Worker: "yeah, that place, sucks..."
Me: "yeah, it sure did..."
Former Co-Worker: "...."
Me: "well, um, good to see you, have a good night"
Former Co-Worker: "yeah, you too..."
File that conversation under "awkward". First of all, I was not hitting on him, I was simply trying to be cordial, mostly so he would stop staring at me while I watched the ballgame. Secondly, he never introduced me to his friend/boyfriend. Thirdly, has he no social skills whatsoever?
It's one thing to notice a former acquaintance, but to blatantly stare at one, on more than one occasion and not acknowledge someones presence is borderline creepy. Had he come up to me and said "hey man, what's up, good see you" or "wow, you're a fucking homo too, who would have thunk it?" I would have replied in kind or at least not have been weird.
No skin off my back really, just thought that was strange.
The place was packed but I found one empty bar stool at the end of the bar and settled in. From my vantage point I had to crane my neck to see the TV, but I dealt with it. Unfortunately my location afforded me an unimpeded perspective on a former co-worker who was sitting alongside the other end of the bar.
A few months back I mentioned how I had seen this former co-worker while on a date at the same place, and I have seen him there a few other times as well, but we never acknowledged one another's presence (and of course I can't find that post where I mentioned him). Not too surprising as we were never work buddy's or anything. However, at the time it was obvious that he was gay but I was still in the closet.
While the other times we found ourselves in the same bar we generally ignored one another, but last Saturday night he was practically boring holes into the side of my head, and it was difficult not to look back at him. My theory is that before he might have thought it was me, but on this night I was wearing my glasses, which I always wore to work.
Needless to say it was a distraction from enjoying the game (as was the fact that the Cubs sucked that game), even more so because he seemed to look at me, look away and make comments to his friend/boyfriend sitting next to him. It didn't make me self conscious, but it was annoying.
Finally I decided to do something about the situation. During the commercial break, I got up and walked right over to him and said:
Me: "Hey man, you look familiar, didn't we used to work at the same place?"
Former Co-Worker: "Um, yeah, maybe, you do look familiar"
Me: "We both worked at 'insert former place of employment here' on the 'XXXX' team"
Former Co-Worker: "Oh, yeah, right..."
Me: "So hows it going, did you find a better job?"
Former Co-Worker: "Um, yeah, I like my current job much better, how about you?"
Me: (in a joking tone) "Fuck that place, I hope it burns to the ground, haha"
Former Co-Worker: "yeah, that place, sucks..."
Me: "yeah, it sure did..."
Former Co-Worker: "...."
Me: "well, um, good to see you, have a good night"
Former Co-Worker: "yeah, you too..."
File that conversation under "awkward". First of all, I was not hitting on him, I was simply trying to be cordial, mostly so he would stop staring at me while I watched the ballgame. Secondly, he never introduced me to his friend/boyfriend. Thirdly, has he no social skills whatsoever?
It's one thing to notice a former acquaintance, but to blatantly stare at one, on more than one occasion and not acknowledge someones presence is borderline creepy. Had he come up to me and said "hey man, what's up, good see you" or "wow, you're a fucking homo too, who would have thunk it?" I would have replied in kind or at least not have been weird.
No skin off my back really, just thought that was strange.
5 comments:
dude that's so true about some guys. first of all... ahhh what it must be like to live in a big city with a gay AND sports bar... very cool
anyway, yeah I hate that bullcrap when at gay bars guys are on some gay bar social code, and not just normal socially. it's like if you talk to anyone it's a come on. I seriously will talk to guys before at a gay bar and it really throws them off. but there are guys who can act normal at gay bars and just talk socially. I'm pretty approachable, and even if some gross guy is talking to me just to try to hit on me, I will seriously jsut be friendly and talk some and of course still back out of anything but at least I am not just saying, well nice meeting you and walking off just to stand 3 feet away. ha ha.
alright enough ranting, good post, later.
I know what you mean. I currently work with a guy that I also see in the gym and the bars and everytime I see him (at the gym or bar) I always say hello, however he gives me a look of "who the f*ck are you" so now I just stopped trying to be friendly with him and don't even bother to speak. Plus he's one of the "pretty boys" that only talk to certain people and I'm sure you all know what I mean. The funny part is that we took the train into work together today and did not even speak to each other. Some people can be suck D!cks.
Speaking of akward, have you happened upon the photos of Oscar DeLaHoya (is that how it's spelled?) in the full body fishnets and panties yet? The one with him wearing his boxing gloves is my favorite. Thought you might appreciate it. www.x17online.com
Love ya', bitchface!
Maybe he was just freaked out. Shrug.
He might have not known or recognised, but fancied you instead.
He might have been saying 'I'd do him' to his friend. And might have been freaked out you approached him.
Guess you'll never know ;o)
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