MY FATHER IS MOVING TO NYC

“One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years”
-Thomas Wolfe

Last Sunday I met my father a bar for lunch and to watch the Cubs game. While waiting for our food to arrive (which was a ridiculous wait, I might add...how in the hell can it take an hour to cook some fucking burgers?) my father turns to me and says:

Father: "So, this may come as a bit of a shock to you, but I've decided to move to New York City".
Me: (almost spits out mouthful of beer) "Uh...well, yeah, it is actually. When are you leaving?"
Father: "At the end of September"
Me: (reaching for my cigarettes now) "What? That's like, in 3 weeks!"
Father: "I know it may seem sudden, but it's something I really want to do and the time just feels right to go now"
Me: "Well, if that's the way you feel...I'm excited for you"

Honestly I'm not totally surprised, I mean, it's not like he's moving to Berlin, and he has been visiting the Big Apple on a regular basis for the last few years. In fact, after I thought about it, his decision seems entirely logical due to the fact that he has a far larger social circle there than he does here in Chicago.

A little history: my parents divorced back in 1994 (wow, I can't believe it's been that long) and in the time since my Mother moved to Arizona (boo, I still hate that fucking state, no offense to any readers that live there, but the desert just isn't my thing) and got married again, to a very nice man, I might add (my stepfather and I get along great).

But my Father never did remarry, and as far as I can tell never really dated either. She basically broke his heart and it took him a long time to pick himself back up and move on his life. I thought it was a huge step for him to sell his spacious home in the suburbs and move to the city a few years back, but this is a far greater change.

But it's a necessary one in that I can tell that he is not entirely happy right now, and he also seems lonely. Therefore, it's seems logical for him to go where his friends are, where he can go out and be social and do the cultural things he loves to do (not like he can't do them here, but I digress).

I'll be honest, it will be sad to see him go. Over the years our relationship has dramatically changed in that during my high school years we were often at odds, but since my Mother moved to Arizona right before my Senior year of high school (nice timing...) and I moved in with him, we started to grow closer and repair our relationship, often in very subtle ways.

We are closer now than we have ever been, in fact, I think of him more of a buddy than a staid, traditional Father. I act no different around him than I do in front of my friends (with the exception of pointing out hot guys, haha) and we hang out at least once, if not twice a week. But it hurts to see my buddies, or any more of my family leave this city.

After my Father moves, it's down to my brother and I. There are other extended members of my family, but none that I care to associate with, for various reasons. I'm thinking this will strengthen my bond to my brother, which is a good thing, although right now we are really tight.

And in the end, it's not about me. It's about my Father needing to do what's best for himself. It's just that, I feel like we are at a tipping point in our relationship, in that the responsibility of taking care of one another has shifted towards me. Maybe I'm just getting older, and/or more mature.

As for me, I'm actually looking forward to getting to know more of New York City. I've only been there once, way back in the early 90's so the city is almost a mystery to me. I've already decided that I won't like it more than Chicago (for better or worse, this city is, and always will be where I call home, even if one day I move elsewhere).

But I will do my best to keep and open mind. After all these years of taking shit about NYC, it's time to view the city with new eyes. At the very least it will be a new experience, and I know I have a solid place to crash in another of the world's greatest cities. And that's a good thing.

And seriously, how bad-ass is it for a man in his late 50's to finally follow through on a life long dream to live somewhere he always wanted to live? Not many people get that chance, or have the fortitude to do so. Perhaps I'm biased, but I think that is remarkable, although not too surprising since my Father is awesome like that.

For the time being, I intend to spend as much time as possible with my Father. We were supposed to have lunch together tomorrow, but fate had other plans in mind. Just this afternoon, my brother's friend offered him a pair of tickets to tomorrow's Cubs game, which he offered to me. I figure after all these years it's only right that it's my turn to take my Father to a game...the final home game of the regular season! I'm stoked.