Thursday, May 10, 2007


Having implemented stage 1 of "Operation: Fix My Fucking Car Already People", I feel much better. My baby is at the body shop and with a little bit of luck should be back to new by late tomorrow, (although I'm not holding my breath).

I left my keys with the clerk, I reassured my baby that everything will be OK and crossed the street to the car rental shop, (I felt like I was having an affair in plain view of my spouse/car).
The guy behind the counter was very empathetic about my situation, (almost needlessly so) and asked me what kind of car I wanted.

Me: "Whatever the insurance covers."
Guy Behind The Counter: "Well, you're covered for a Chevy Cobalt or a Nissan Sentra, but I assume you'll want something a bit sportier..."
Me: "Hmmm, like what?"
Guy Behind The Counter: "Well, we have a few Mustangs..."
Me: "Gross."
Guy Behind The Counter: "...a Nissan Altima, A Pontiac G6, there's that Infinity G35 right out there."
Me: "Yeah, I dunno, I don't want to spend too much-"
Guy Behind The Counter: "The Altima is only $5 a day more."
Me: "I'll take it."

The Altima is not a bad ride, although it feels huge compared to my ride. Having driven stick shift cars for the last 8 years it feels weird driving an automatic. At least it gives you the option of down/up shifting, which while almost totally useless is still fun to play with.

Far and away the oddest thing about driving this car is the lack of a key, any key. As in no ignition key. As the cheery woman at the rental shop explained, you simply step on the brake and press the big button to the right of the steering wheel.

Like the "manual/automatic" transmission, this seems totally useless. And every time I get in/out of the car I still reach for a key and aim my empty hand at the steering wheel column and feel stupid. Oh well.

On my lunch break I got the bank to remove half the overdraft fees (it never hurts to ask) and headed over to place I go to for lunch when I'm feeling like greasy fast food. Immediately upon entering a very cute guy catches my eye.

I order and without being too obvious check him out. He looks like he just got out of college, and is wearing what looks like the first nice clothes he probably ever bought himself. Nice boyish face, he looks like he's a runner and my guess is his name is probably Matt or Josh.

Anyways, I sit down and start to devour my huge cheeseburger while reading the paper, while glancing up at the TV and at him. He stares at the TV, then at me, then out the window behind me, (amateur!) and back to his food. This happens several times.

After finishing his food he stand up and throws away his garbage and walks towards me, pausing slightly and then looking at something outside, (WTF could he be looking at? The Marriott across the street?), turns back and walks out the door.

I finally defeat the cheeseburger get up to leave and see him just pulling away. Seems odd he would wait that long (like 5 minutes) before leaving. Perhaps he wanted to "christen" the backseat of my rental car, haha.

Speaking of said car...I hesitated to walk behind the car parked next to me because I thought he was going to pull out. I heard an engine running, but look inside and see no one. As I get closer to the Altima, I realize it's running. Apparently I didn't hold down the fucking ignition button ling enough, hence it was burning gas for 25 minutes. Go global warming!

Minutes later I'm driving back to work, when I see a familiar face driving next to me...the cute boy from the restaurant. It seems he works not too far from where I do, a fact which has been filling my mind with dirty thoughts all afternoon.

Mental note: go back to that restaurant again. And soon!


DB said...

ooooh. He can totally be your downtown boytoy. Hot midday rendezvous. I love it.

jay said...

I have never heard of a car like that. Ditto, you must return to that restaurant.

Hamilton said...

hehe. so funny. Leaving the car running sounds like something I would do lol....

Silly Billy said...

That was too funny. Go Global Warming indeed.

Glad you beat the cheeseburger btw. Must have been an ugly fight though.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Dude, you totally have to go back.

Dee said...

Wow man you have all the luck nothing like this ever happens to me. Just don't go back to often you don't want him to think you eat at that place all the time.

Soul Seared Dreamer said...

I'm with Billy on this: Go Global Warming... that is too damn funny.

Why didn't you ask said amatuer out? You could have saved him from the jitters, and got yourself some nice tasty young manflesh.