Just before I left work yesterday one of the nice ladies in the office stopped by my desk and said "My, how you've grown!" to which I replied "huh?. She explained she was attempting to prepare me for the inevitable since we earlier talked about how it's been about 5-6 years since I last saw all the family members I'm about to see this weekend for the funeral. I then corrected her and said that my various family members will likely have the opposite reaction.
The last time I saw most of my extended family I was a year or so from finishing up school and at the time I was fat. Not Orson Wells circa 1976 fat, but at the time I was pushing 180+ on my 5'11 frame. I've since lost lost over 25 pounds so it will be interesting (and perhaps a little flattering) so hear/see their reactions. My hair is a lot longer now too so I hope they still recognize me...
The other issue that may or may not come up this weekend is me coming out to my family. I already expect the question from various family members, which is "do you have a girlfriend/why aren't you dating...?" I had worked up the courage to come out to my brother and was literally going to do it the next time we hung out, but between him starting a new job and dealing with my Grandmother's death that had been pushed aside. For a moment I thought that I might "drop the bomb" as it were on the flight to Arizona today, but then I quickly realized that coming out to my brother and his girlfriend at 30,000 feet might not be the best idea.
If I can steal away a moment with my Mom I very well might tell her, but then again I'm not sure if this would be an appropriate time, (I would feel almost selfish since this weekend is all about my Grandmother's memory, and not about me). I'm 95% sure she already knows since the last time we saw each other (drunk in Mexico) she straight up asked me if I was gay, but I was caught so off guard I could little more than stutter and issue a half assed denial. I know she won't care and will love me regardless, but it's tricky trying to explain why I haven't come out to her earlier, (same issue with my brother and my father for that matter).
On that note, it's time to hit the gym before winging my way to the desert. It's nice and sunny in the city of wind today...
The last time I saw most of my extended family I was a year or so from finishing up school and at the time I was fat. Not Orson Wells circa 1976 fat, but at the time I was pushing 180+ on my 5'11 frame. I've since lost lost over 25 pounds so it will be interesting (and perhaps a little flattering) so hear/see their reactions. My hair is a lot longer now too so I hope they still recognize me...
The other issue that may or may not come up this weekend is me coming out to my family. I already expect the question from various family members, which is "do you have a girlfriend/why aren't you dating...?" I had worked up the courage to come out to my brother and was literally going to do it the next time we hung out, but between him starting a new job and dealing with my Grandmother's death that had been pushed aside. For a moment I thought that I might "drop the bomb" as it were on the flight to Arizona today, but then I quickly realized that coming out to my brother and his girlfriend at 30,000 feet might not be the best idea.
If I can steal away a moment with my Mom I very well might tell her, but then again I'm not sure if this would be an appropriate time, (I would feel almost selfish since this weekend is all about my Grandmother's memory, and not about me). I'm 95% sure she already knows since the last time we saw each other (drunk in Mexico) she straight up asked me if I was gay, but I was caught so off guard I could little more than stutter and issue a half assed denial. I know she won't care and will love me regardless, but it's tricky trying to explain why I haven't come out to her earlier, (same issue with my brother and my father for that matter).
On that note, it's time to hit the gym before winging my way to the desert. It's nice and sunny in the city of wind today...
3 comments:
Good luck this weekend. As you know, there's really no "good" time to come out to your family, esp. if they live far away. I told my mother when I flew in to visit once Christmas, and it is now "that Christmas where I came out to my family."
Just go with what feels right - and if it doesn't happen this weekend, don't get worked up about it.
good luck. and have fun!
i still wonder how some moms always know. I wish my mom could just "figure it out" by whatever means, either her intuition or her evidence. I dont care it'd save me lots trouble time and emotional burden to do it. One of my friends who got caught by her parents while he was on top of some other dude bring his anus to cloud nine. I of course won't want that, but I wish there would be a way that is just as direct but less graphic.
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