Thursday, January 25, 2007

EYE FUCKING V. THE NONVERBAL FUCK OFF

You know when you see someone you think is attractive on a semi regular basis but technically they’re a stranger? For example, it could be that hot 20-something lawyer in a pinstripe suit you see getting coffee every morning or the dude at the gym that somehow pulls off the wife beater look without looking lame. What’s the best form of non-verbal communication to inform that person you’re interested? Sure, you could just approach the person directly and ask ‘em out but that’s not always possible considering the social situation, (or if you’re just shy, like me). Do you A) Eye Fuck them or B) pretend you’re not interested, roll your eyes and give off a casual fuck off vibe?

Or maybe you’re on the receiving end of a good eye fucking; I suppose the response would depend on your own level of interest, but let’s just say you are. What subtle form of non-verbal communication works best without resorting to a parody from an 80’s teen comedy? I think if I like the person I usually prefer a quick hard stare back followed by a bemused look off into the distance. Of coarse, this never works. The worst though is when you catch someone eye fucking eye you that you think is not attractive, or worse repulsing. Once I was at the gym doing my thing staring off into space when after a minute or two I notice this nasty excuse for a man looking right at me. Then he winked at me. I think I little piece of me died that day.

The other night I was driving home when I pulled up to a red light. Soon after a black Lexus pulls up next to me and the attractive woman glances in my direction and smiles at me. Even though I like The Boys some primal mainly instinct caused me to dumbly look in her direction and smile back. Then I realize she’s actually smiling at the guy in the car to the left of me. Stupid Me. Thankfully the light turned green soon after.

2 comments:

Will said...

If you think the guy eyeing you is cute, just give a quick stare back and a little side-smile. Then go get a drink of water. Chances are, he'll follow you to the water fountain where he or you will say, "hi". Worth a shot anyway.

-Will

Hamilton said...

Before, when I was completely in the closet. I only send out the fuck-off signal. So people won't know. It is more like a defense machanism lol. Besides I can check out people more than tell them to fuck off. That made me feel safe.

Now since I came out to a couple of my close friends, I have more confident to actually look at people and kinda sending out signal. It is pretty interesting. I