Monday, January 22, 2007

THE BIG 3

Since high school there has been 3 guys that I’ve had unrequited crushes on (and I mean real people, Matt Dallas doesn’t count). These were my straight boy crushes, which I’m nearly sure all 3 of these boys were. Of coarse I don’t have photographic proof but I’m following my gut instinct here. [Note all names have been changed].

I’ll refer to the first one by JD, which is appropriate because he looked like a Russian mixture of James Dean and a short Brad Pitt. Big muscular body, flawless light blue sky eyes and lips that gave made me think dirty thoughts (still does actually). He played bass and made elaborate oil paintings of himself. For some reason I thought this was hot back in high school but like most high school age kids, I was an idiot. For fun JD used to eat mushrooms and walk around our high school eating chips. We sort of dated 2 of the same girls although we were really never more than just friends of friends. After dropping out of art school, he moved back from the East Coast and sporadically hangs out with some of my friends. He’s applying to become a city firefighter and is still smoking hot. Straight as they come.

Andrew was my college age crush. We had 3 classes together, 2 of which were basically weekly film screening sessions. Although I usually found the films interesting (lots of pretentious French/Italian/American classics) he apparently did not because he would pass the fuck out 5 minutes into every film every week. He had the body of a swimmer and attractive wasp-like features, very easy on the eyes. Talking to him I could never get a grasp on his personality which at first seemed intriguing but ultimately proved exhausting. I’ll likely never see him again. 75% sure he’s straight.

The most recent crush I had was for a guy that worked my previous job, whose name was Kurt. One day I was shuffling down the hallways looking for this woman’s office for a meeting. The building was a large ant hill like maze of cubicles and windowless offices so I was wondering around lost when I saw Kurt sitting standing near his desk. I first thing I noticed were the eyebrows. He had a small, compact frame and stood about 5’7, very unusual looking but defiantly doable. Every few days I would see him in a hallway or the cafeteria and there was always eye contact, but the site of him turned me in to 14 year old girl, so a coherent conversation was all but impossible. A coworker asked around and about him, and she found out that he had a girlfriend. 99% straight (hey you never know).

Having written this I’ve realized how much more I look for in a potential boyfriend. All three of these crushes were based on nothing more than surface qualities plus I had zero chance with any of them so it’s not like a big loss or anything. They mainly served brighten my day a bit or creep into my head at night before bed.

No comments: