Hey y'all mothafuckahs...I am indeed alive. Haven't been posting much these last few days because, frankly I have had nothing really to write about. That coupled with the pall of traditional winter depression that I get this time of year has made me into a mute of sorts.
Seriously. I keep finding myself in various social situations when I feel like I just NOTHING to fucking say. And rather than ramble about Olympic athletes who smoke pot, the Super Bowl that I could give a fuck about and my un-fruitful attempts at regular employment and/or complete and total inability to secure a date, I have chose to be quiet.
But in the interest of writing something, I guess I could post my near-daily schedule:
9:15AM: Wake up, take a piss.
9:17AM: Go back to sleep.
9:45AM: Turn over, open my blinds, curse the gray winter sky, and read a book in bed.
10:15AM: Check my e-mail, and seeing that no one has responded to any jobs I've replied to...
10:17AM: ...open a new browser tab and jerk-off.
10:24AM: Go downstairs, fetch the Tribune.
10:25AM: Breakfast: 1 orange, 2 scrambled eggs over 2 warm tortillas, 1 glass of milk.
10:45AM: Go catch up on my "morning paper-work".
10:55AM: 1st smoke of the day.
11:00AM: Search for jobs to apply to...
11:15AM: ...get frustrated, have 2nd smoke of day.
11:20AM: Mixture of looking and/or applying for more jobs/jerk-off again.
12:15PM: Read rest of Tribune.
1:30PM: Usually some kind of chore such as shopping/cleaning/laundry/scaring children.
4:00PM: CRACK first beer of day, then check e-mail again for possible job responses (there never are).
4:15PM: Watch Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmare's or Top Gear.
6:00PM: BBC World News
7:00PM: Cry and/or drink more and/or masturbate (depending on the news of the day).
7:15PM: Shower, get ready to go out or have friends over.....SMOKE....DRINK....REPEAT.
10:00PM: Daily Show/Colbert Report
11:00PM: ETC.........................................................................
2:00AM: Watch "Queer as Folk" on LOGO.
3:00AM: Read in bed, go to sleep.
Exciting, no? Right. Well, this used to be my dream schedule, but after this pattern continued unabated (more or less) into the new year, and every day started to feel like Groundhog Day. Admittedly, I have also been trying to do other things for free, like go to museums, exercise while watching TV (definition of oxymoron) and cook healthy, fresh food (Gordon would be proud).
OTHER STATS FROM THIS WEEK:
# of times stood up this week: 2
# of times I've watched re-runs of the Real World Brooklyn: 3
# of Camel Lights consumed: I plead the 5th
# of beers consumed: see above
# of friend's VW Jetta's resurrected from the dead: 1
# of colds I got that I beat the FUCK down: 1
# of times I've listened to N.A.S.A.'s new record straight thru: 6
# of FUCKING FRIGHTENING REALISTIC NIGHTMARES ABOUT BEING IN A 747 CRASHING: 1
I'd go one with more inane blogging, but I need to leave and get more beer so I can drink my way through BBC World News, before I report for Doorman/Bad-Ass duty at the bar/club tonight.
Caio bitches!
