Showing posts with label DEAR GOD THE SUN IS RISING. Show all posts
Showing posts with label DEAR GOD THE SUN IS RISING. Show all posts

Thursday, May 6, 2010

I GUESS THE UNIVERSE LIKES ME AFTER ALL

So...in the last 24 hours the universe has rewarded me with a modest raise, another 2 shifts and a 3AM booty call. I can't make this shit up. I was steering clear of my favorite co-worker since she quit smoking 2 days ago, being the sensible guy I am, I played the loudest, most dirty hip-hop I had on my iPhone, and did shots of whiskey with the kitchen staff.

Around this time I get a text from this guy I haven't seen or heard from in at least 2 years. He's all hot and horny to hang out, and he had weed, so why not chill at 4am? He looked good too...cute, skinny black dude at least 8 years my junior.

Anyways...I forgot that my current Roomie is throwing a bachelorette party at out place tonight; the shit is all dolled up like a fucking whorehouse, she even broke a $20 into singles, it's sitting on my kitchen table. In 10 hours a greasy, presumably nasty male stripper will be violating my sacred man cave...but I digress.

Dude comes over, it's like 4-ishAM, we got stoned and start making out and removing each other's pants. I was a good boy, so was he, and we kept it PG-13; still, we both jerked each other off at 8am this morning, I blew a HUGE fucking load all over the place, saw him out, and proceeded to smoke a smoke on my porch...and my landlord is standing "Good Morning Justin!" there...and I'm wondering if he can spot the dried cum on my forehead.

[Shakes head] I need a drink. And a shower.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

MY ADDICTIONS

Seeing as I'm up late I figure I'll respond to the request issued by the charming bloke who goes by the handle of "Mind of Mind". He recently wrote a post about his various addictions, and asked various bloggers (including yours truly) to respond in kind. I thought it an interesting topic...so here goes.

#1: STAYING UP LATE

Ever since I was a little kid I've always been a NIGHT person, that is I absolutely adore the peace and quiet that comes with living in big city and being one of the few people within my immediate vicinity burning that proverbial Midnight Oil. Case in point: it's nearly 6AM Central as I write this. If I'm in bed before Midnight, I'm either ill or really fucking ill.

#2: BOOZE

Duh. I love me a good drink or 11. This may not bode well for my future...but it's seems to be a genetic trait handed down upon me. Most of my family also likes to drank and I am no exception. But I don't blame them as I am my own man...who enjoys a strong shot of bourbon/whiskey chased with a weak can of beer. Cheers bitches!

#3: iPHONE/CONNECTIVITY

When the iPhone first came out I mercilessly made fun of friends that waited with baited breath to get their claws upon Steve Jobs' latest load of shit. But then a funny thing happened; I got one for Christmas '07, a most unexpectedly generous gift from my Father. Now I use it for FUCKING everything and can't remember how I functioned without it.

#4: READING

Just tonight I got yet another e-mail from the library alerting me that I have another book to pick up. SHIT! That makes 4 books I have set myself to completing in the next few weeks, in addition to the plethora of magazines quickly piling up (UGH - The Economist Must NOT GO TO waste!) and all your people's blogs. And research for an idea I have...(ssshhhhh![more on that later]).

#5: CHICAGO

No surprise here; I wouldn't have gotten my first and thus far only tattoo had I not had/have a raging boner for the city that my heart eternally longs far. We are both imperfect in similar ways, have a hate/love relationship with each other...briefly cheat on one another, but in the end , we end up in the same place. A perfectly dysfunctional/functional relationship, we share.

SO...there you go...notice how no drugs, sex or rock n' roll were noted? That shit is for FUCKING PUSSIES.

PS - I love all 3, though not addicted...so I guess I am a pussy with a capital "P".