ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?

Like most people, I have a change jar. Although this particular change jar also contains stray $1's that end up in my wallet at the end of the night. These are used for the occasional beer/fast food/cigarette emergency.

Tonight, there was no such emergency, just me being lazy and wanting to drink beer. So I grabbed $4 bucks out, and the last one I grab is this:

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The day that Ron Paul's name appears on this nation's currency, I will pull a Hunter S. Thompson and put myself out of my misery. Or I'll "pull a white liberal" and threaten to move to Canada...

I wonder, is somewhere out there writing RP's name on currency as some sort of guerrilla marketing scheme?

INTER-OFFICE MEMORANDUM

DATE: Friday, June 6, 2008
TO: Female Coworker Who Shall Remain Nameless
FROM: Justin Chicago
SUBJECT: Your Vajayjay

This morning I stopped by your desk to ask you a question about an order, and although our entire conversation lasted less than 30 seconds, you succeeded in not only grossing me out, you also made me at least 10% more gay.

How where you able to accomplish both goals in such a small window of time? Well, while we where discussing business, you decided to boldly put not one, but both of your hands in your crotch, and you didn't just rest them there...you seemed to be itching something.

I've decided not to speculate what the cause of this action could be attributed to, but please, don't EVER do that in front of me again. It's neither professionally, nor socially acceptable to fondle your junk in public.

Now, I realize you are human, as am I; however when I need to adjust my boys, I am careful not to do so in front of a coworker, especially not when they are speaking to me and making eye contact.

If whatever is going on down there is really that bad, please, for your sake as well as mine, seek medical attention.

Thanks and have a great weekend!

Justin