BACK ON THE HORSE

Today I did not one, but two things I haven't done since May; I not only went to the gym but I rode my bike there and back (3 if you count the near miss-see below)! There are several reasons I have not either, and here are a few:

-World Cup (working almost 30 consecutive days)

-The bat-shit insane heat this Summer

-A general sense of overall malaise

This week, and the few prior have been beating me up, and when I awoke this morning I was not feeling like doing anything other than parking my ass in front of the TV, reading a book and/or increasing the shareholder value of those that own stock in Pabst Blue Ribbon; instead, I made breakfast, took a shower and got dressed.

This is not ordinary behavior for someone who usually comes home from work at the ass-crack of dawn, and I was shocked that I did accomplished all 3 of these seemingly simple tasks before Noon. Then I paused...

...and that little voice in the back of head, the one I usually tell to "SHUT THE FUCK UP I'M TIRED" reared it's pretty little head, and said "hey, you dumb lazy fuck, get on your bike and go to the gym". Instead of ignoring it, I succumbed. Plus, it was a gorgeous autumn day...

In years past, when I've fallen off the workout "wagon" it's taken a long time to get the momentum back, and although I took it easy, and I'm sore as hell, I feel great, both mentally and physically. Really. It's amazing how even a modicum of exercise elevates my mood.

Side note: I almost got T-Boned by another biker in an alley. Dude was going too fast, did not see me, and almost slammed me head first into a telephone pole. Although I braked/served in time, I thanked God I was wearing my helmet...because I really don't need a third fucking concussion.

Tomorrow, back at it!

I POPPED A BONER AT THE GYM TODAY

This never happens to me, randomly popping a boner in public, at least not since high school. To my credit, this guy doing push-ups was the hottest guy I've ever seen in real life. 6'2", probably 195 of nothing but muscle, the perfect amount of beard subtle and a general air of fucking unadulterated hotness.

He appeared out of seemingly thin air, while I was using the ass machine, when I noticed him...and couldn't take my eyes off him . Usually SUPER good looking people annoy me, but damn son, I couldn't help myself. Thankfully before anyone noticed the tent in my gym shorts I moved over to the sit-down ab machine thing, and did my best not to look in his general direction.

Whew. I think I may need to beat off again.

I'VE BEEN DESCRIBED AS "WAIF-ISH"

On Monday I saw 2 old friends (you know who you are) and amidst our mutual revelry, my female friend intoned "you look really skinny, waif-ish even". It's true, I have lost weight recently, but not because I have an eating disorder, as my friend jokingly suggested. I mean, right after we had this conversation I inhaled half of a large pepperoni pizza, along with 4 beers. If anything I should look like Dom DeLuise.

And seriously, after spending 3 months with my arm in a sling, hosting daily personal pity parties, I should have gained a fuck load of weight. The difference, as far as I can tell, is the new job. During a typical 8 hour shift I'll have to climb and descend 2 flights of stairs 50 times minimum. Often time I'm having to carry heavy shit like a barrel of ice. Other times I have to hoist a dirty tub of dishes above my head without dropping it on any number of people. Ever changed a keg? Holy shit are those fucking heavy!

Next month my gym membership expires and I'm seriously considering canceling it. What's the point? And once it gets warmer out I'm going to start biking again, probably to work and back. Oh! And my hair is growing out, this morning I went to the gym with a raging case of bed head and didn't give a fuck. Not having a shaved head is somewhat of a novelty. Let it grow!

BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN

Until last November I had been working out consistently for about 2 years. Mind you, that is not to imply that I am gym rat (my body would attest that) but I loved that post-workout feeling when the endorphins are being released (or whatever it is they do). 

So it was with a heavy heart that I had to put my gym membership on "hold" to save money. When you are forced to live on 46% of what you were making before, it's tough to justify spending $70/month to work out. 

Anyways, I got a call from the gym yesterday saying that the "hold" on my account had expired, and when they tried to process a payment, it got rejected. Fuck. So today I went to the gym and spoke with a manager. 

She explained that I had to pay the $20 "bounce check" fee and then asked if I wanted to put the account back on hold. I said I did since I couldn't afford $70/month. "Well what could you afford?" she asked me. Before I could even answer she said "What about $35/month?" to which I quickly replied that that would be doable. 

Finally I can go back to working out on semi-daily basis! Hooray! With a little hard work this extra winter (er, PBR) fat will fuck right off and all the boys will be drooling over me (or at least I won't be sucking in my gut when I wear skinny jeans). 

PS - I was also pleased to discover that hot gay guys are still in abundance at my gym. In a span of 10 minutes I spotted at least 6 guys that I would go all buck nasty on. WOOT!

WHICH WAY TO THE BEACH?

One of my stated near term goals for my little break was to get back on a regular gym schedule. In particular, I wanted to use this opportunity to work out in the morning when I'm fresh. Yesterday I did just that, and worked out as hard as I have in at least 6 months. This resulted in me feeling super sore, but also, super good.

But when I awoke this morning at 9AM I was determined to hit it again, re-double my efforts, kick more ass and all that. I know I have a long way to go, but I thought posting a picture of my body on-line would provide me with the motivation I need. So...here it is...ME!

HAHAHA...yeah, I fucking wish I looked even a little bit like that. Although I don't have "body issues", and both guys that saw me naked last week said they "love" my body, I don't get it. I think I am very average in that department. And after spending the balance of August chugging Budweiser, I'm a bit self conscious of my mid-section.

Regardless of what others think, it's full steam ahead...I am going to whip my lazy ass into shape, no matter the pain that ensues (ugh...arm workout today, I think they might just fall off at some point tonight...damn, there goes the tattoo!).

Unfortunately, I think the good work I did this morning was offset by all the beer I drank this afternoon near the Cubs game (didn't get in, but spent the afternoon at Murphy's Bleachers). Also, I plan on starting to ride, rather than drive to the gym, the drugstore, bar, etc. My ass, arms, abs and chest are gonna rock!

AND GOOOOOOOOO CUBS! 7TH SR-8 WIN!